On The Radio
by Edna
Summary: Rogue calls in on a radio show


Radio(FF)

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Rogue, nor the people she's referring to. I'm just playing with them for some non-profit fun. I am, however, fully responsible for the lousy behavior of Dr. Love and her callers. Jerry Springer appears as a guest without his permission. The song, "Am I The Same Girl" is by Swing Out Sister. They own it too, not me. 

AUTHOR'S NOTES: ((---)) refers to internal monologue

******************************************************************

DR. LOVE: Good evening everyone and welcome to our nightly radio program, Looooooove Talk.. I'm your host, Dr. Love. Our radio hotlines and operators are on standby, ready and eager to hear your love woes and put you on the air. The first caller for tonight is a young woman from New York State. Say hello Wistful in Weschester!

ROGUE: Um……hi

DR. L: So, what's been troubling you?

R: Well, it's kinda complicated.

DR.L: Don't worry, nothing's too complicated for Dr. love. snickers

R: Um., you see, I'm kinda in love with this older man.

DR. L: Uh-huh, go-on

R: And well, I don't really know if he loves me too.

DR. L: Ok, what causes these doubts?

R: Hmm……..maybe I should start from the beginning

DR. L: That would be nice. How did you two meet?

R: Well, I recently ran away from home and was hitch-hiking in Northern Canada when I met up with him. I snuck into his truck 'coz I needed a ride.

DR. L: Hmm…….why'd you run away from home?

R: Errrr….you see, I'm a mutant. I have lethal skin which allows me to suck the lifeforce and memories of another person just by tactile contact. If I hold on long-enough, I can kill someone. Anyway, mutants weren't exactly welcome in my home so, I ran away.

DR. L: Oh dear, that's really sad. I wish things everywhere were as tolerant as my show. 

R: I know.

DR. L: So, what happened after you guys met?

R: Well, he eventually let me hitch a ride, and, to make a long story short, he's saved my life twice already while risking his own. He also made this promise to take care of me.

DR. L: Wow, sounds like a hero.

R: Yup! And he's really great looking too.

DR. L: Really? What does he look like?

R: Hmm., that's kinda hard. The closest one would be the guy who played Eddie in Someone Like You. 

DR. L: Ooh yeah, that Hugh Jackman IS one hot babe. That ass of his ought to be insured.

R: Yeah. Except my guy is more surly, has pointy hair and wears mutton chops.

DR. L: Hmm, he sounds really hairy……..I think I'll have to pass chuckles

R: Well yeah, but I think it's incredibly sexy.

DR. L: I'll take your word for it. So, what happened after he saved your life twice?

R: He left right away 'coz he has some things to sort out about his past. But he promised he'd come back.

DR. L: Past? He sounds like he's married. Is he married? Does he have kids?

R: No. Nothing like that. Actually, we're not really sure. He's had amnesia for the past 15 years so he really can't remember anything about his life before that. He went away so he could find out.

DR. L: Wow! Amnesia. This is really complicated. Anyway, he promised you he'd come back?

R: Yes, he even left me his dogtags, a personal memento of his, with me. He said he'd come back for them.

DR. L: Them? Meaning the tags?

R: Yeah. I guess.

DR. L: But it could also mean he's coming back for you. You know, maybe he was just too shy to say it directly.

R: Maybe. But when I sort through his memories, well, I get confused.

DR. L: Why?

R: Well, I feel that he really cares for me. Those feelings are very strong. But then, I also see how attracted he gets when he's near this other woman I live with.

DR. L: Oh ok, now I see the problem. There's another woman.

R: Sort of. I mean she's gorgeous and everything, so I can really understand his attraction to her. But she's engaged to somebody else so I like to think that she's not a threat or anything. She loves her fiance a lot..

DR. L: Uh-huh. But you still feel a bit jealous?

R: Yes. A lot actually. I mean, he sees her as a woman. A very sexy woman. And me, well, when I go through his thoughts, he's thinking "gotta look out for her", or "she can't be put in danger." You know, almost fatherly-type stuff.

DR. L: Fatherly eh? You did mention he was older. How big is your age gap?

R. Ummmm, well, it's……..it's huge. I'm 18 and he could be somewhere in his hundreds.

DR. L: A hundred?!! Sorry, but this is really disturbing. The guy is ancient. Do you have some issues with your grandfather or something? You know, kinda like Anna Nicole Smith?

R; Nooooooo!! It's nothing like that. His aging process is slower compared to the rest of us. He's a mutant with self-healing powers. That's why he still looks like he's in his early thirties even if he could be in his hundreds.

DR. L: Wow! That's some power. Any chance he can concentrate and bottle that power? I'm sure a bunch of face-lift and liposuction addicts in Beverly Hills would pay anything for that.

R: snickers Sorry. I don't think that's ever been done. I think you've been watching too much "Death Becomes Her".

DR. L: Haha! Maybe. So you think he only likes you as a ward or as a child?

R: Yes. 

DR. L: And you're pretty sure you're in love with him. Do you think it's possible that this could be just a case of hero-worship?

R: No. I don't think so. I'd know it if it was just that. He's been gone for a year and my feelings haven't changed.

DR. L: A year? Has he called or told you anything about his feelings?

R: Errr… no. He just made that promise he'd come back.

DR. L: Uh-huh. And did it sound like he was being honest?

R: Yes. He's been pretty good at keeping his promises. Actually it's more of his attraction to the other woman and my skin that worries me. I know he's gonna come back but, I don't know if he'll ever return my feelings. I mean, I'm a girl who can't have sex. That would kill him.

DR. L: Yes, yes, that does pose a problem. ((Boy am I glad I don't have her problem)). Ok, sorry to cut this short but we have to pause for some commercials. When we come back, we'll be hearing from our listeners and what they think about Wistful In Weschester's dilemma. Stay tuned.

::Cheesy radio show music theme plays, followed by commercials::

**********

DR. L: And we're back. We just heard from Ms. Wistful in Weschester about her love problem with her absentee-protector. Now, we'd like to hear from our listeners. First caller is from Richmond, Virginia. Hey there Virginia.

Caller #1: Hi! Dr. Love, I just want to tell you first how much I loooove your show.

DR. L: Thank you.

Caller #1: Now Ms. Wistful, it sounds like you've got some serious crushing going on here, and to be honest, he sounds like a bum . I mean, not calling you for a year?? That is just sooo low. How hard is it to pick up the phone and say hi? I say move on girl. Get yourself a real man who doesn't hit the road when things get hot.

DR.L: Thank you Richmond, Virginia. Next caller please.

Caller #2: Hi, the name's Lloyd. All I can say is,……..YOU MUTANTS ARE ALL FREAKS! YOU ALL DESERVE TO DIE! THEY OUGHT TO…….

::: bleeeeeep:::

DR. L: No racist remarks are welcome in this show. Next caller.

Caller #3: Hi there. This is Matt from New Jersey. You sound like you're cute. Maybe we could go out sometime. I'd love to get your number…..….

:::bleeeeeep::::

DR. L: This is a radio show not a dating service. Geez people. Next caller please.

Caller #4: Hi. I'm Rachelle from Montana. I think that you guys have a really sweet story. I think you shouldn't just brush it aside because he's been gone for a year. I say you wait for him. He did save your life and kept his promise to take care of you. He'll be back I'm sure. As for the other woman, well, I say you go get yourself a make-over, make yourself gorgeous and make sure that he sees you're a woman when you get back.

DR. L: Glad to hear from you Rachelle. Next caller.

Caller # 5: Hello. My name is Cher from Beverly Hills. I heard you mentioning a bottled anti-aging potion. Where can I buy this?

DR. L: Ummm, sorry ma'am, but that was just a joke. 

Caller # 5: Oh. 

DR. L: Sorry. Next caller.

Caller # 6: Hi, this is Sister Belinda from St. Paddy's parish. I couldn't help but think that your mutation could be a form of calling for a very chaste occupation . You will be a virgin for life and I think that you ought to become a nun. Your skin won't be a problem since you'll be covered from head to toe in a habit just like the rest of us.

DR. L: What do you think about that offer Wistful in Weschester?

R: Ummm, it was nice of you to offer, but I'll have to turn it down. Thanks anyway, I think. 

DR. L: Next caller.

Caller # 7: Howdy! This is Daisy Lee Vogue from Kentucky. Don't go listnin' to that Sister woman about being a virgin all your lahf. There are hundreds of ways to get around your little skeen problem. Ah say, stand by your man, and tell him how you feel.

DR. L Thank you Daisy Lee. Next caller.

Caller # 8: Chinky from L.A. here. I say, you go girl! Don't let nobody tell you he's too old. Hell, with a healing power, I'm sure he heals pretty good down there too. Ah-huh! That alone is worth waitin' for for the next 5 years! 

DR. L: I agree with her. Next caller.

Caller # 9: Hey, Dr. Love, this is Jerry Springer. I was wondering if I could offer Ms. Wistful here a spot on our show. We're doing this episode on Strange Mutant Love and I thnk….

:: bleeeeeeep ::

DR. L: Sorry to cut you off Mr. Springer but I think you ought to do your guest recruitment on your own time and not on mine. Final caller.

Caller # 10: Hi, this is Paula from New York City, and I think that you ought to build a life for yourself and not waste your time waiting for him to come back. Placing all your happiness in the hands of one man who might not even return is just not healthy. Meanwhile, you should go out and date and see what's out there. If you still feel the same way when he comes back, then you tell him and talk about it. If he doesn't return your feelings, then that's it. At least you have closure. If he feels the same way, then it's all wonderful. But in the meantime, don't waste yourself away.

DR. L: Finally, someone who makes sense. Thank you so much Paula. Now Ms. Wistful what do you think about what our callers have said?

R: Umm, well, umm, they were kinda strange, but I might have to agree with Paula. There are other guys who do want to date me and I guess I should try and have some fun while waiting.

DR. L: Sounds good to me. Glad that we were able to help and make you feel better.

R: Actually no, I still feel kinda wretched.

DR. L: Oh, well, that's a first. ((Ingrate!)) Anyway, we'd like to end the show by dedicating a song to you Ms. Wistful. It's "Am I The Same Girl" by Swing Out Sister. Thank you so much Ms. Wistful, and to all my listeners out there, I hope you'll all join me in the next Looooooove talk. Thank you and good night.

_Why don't you stop  
And look me over  
Am I the same girl you used to know?  
  
Why don't you stop  
And think it over  
Am I the same girl who knew your soul?  
  
I'm the one you want  
And I'm the one you need  
I'm the one you love  
I'm the one you used to meet  
  
Around the corner  
Everyday  
We would meet  
And slip away  
But we were much too young  
To love each other this way  
  
Am I the same girl?  
(Yes I am, yes I am)  
Am I the same girl?  
(Yes I am, yes I am)  
  
Why don't you stop  
And look me over  
Am I the same girl you used to know?  
Why don't you stop  
And think it over  
Am I the same girl who knew your soul?  
  
I'm the one you hurt  
And I'm the one you need  
I'm the one who cried  
I'm the one you used to meet  
But you are pretending you don't care  
But the fire is still there  
Now we are no longer too young  
To love each other this way  
  
Am I the same girl?  
(Yes I am, yes I am)  
Am I the same girl?  
(Yes I am, yes I am)  
  
Am I the same girl?  
(Yes I am, yes I am)  
Am I the same girl?  
(Yes I am, yes I am)  
  
Have you ever felt the need for something more  
With every week comes scratching at your door  
Have you ever stopped and wonder what it is you're searching for  
Push your luck too far with me  
But if you push it any further  
You won't have any  
  
Am I the same girl?  
Am I the same girl?  
(Yes I am, yes I am) _

.


End file.
